Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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