My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I think my vagina is haunted
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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