Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize