hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
