girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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