okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I just want to make out with him forever
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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