Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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