Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
