I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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