I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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