I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
