Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
