I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
