ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
