there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
