i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
