I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
