Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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