Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
