You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
