Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
