I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
