There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
