Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
