he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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