I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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