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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS

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  27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.

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• (862): View more from New Jersey

  I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.

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  23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (614): View more from Ohio

  I was convinced to buy a man thong.

  (614): View more from Ohio

  But it's Armani so it's okay.

  (614): View more from Ohio

  God I just out gayed myself.

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face

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• (813): View more from Florida

  He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?

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