once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.