You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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