Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.