fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
