I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
