Texts From Last Night

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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Are you guys doing anything tonight?

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Krysta

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  (816): Are you guys doing anything tonight? (859): Krysta http://tfl.nu/28qy
  Replies (9) Good night (2158) Bad night (665)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.

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  (704): I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum. http://tfl.nu/041y
  Replies (11) Good night (681) Bad night (2842)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before

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  (206): sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before http://tfl.nu/9maa
  Replies (84) Good night (1208) Bad night (3894)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.

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  (818): Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me. http://tfl.nu/23e4
  Replies (35) Good night (1574) Bad night (3890)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.

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  (902): If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I. http://tfl.nu/orkf
  Replies (37) Good night (8517) Bad night (1513)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"

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  (701): and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies" http://tfl.nu/t57n
  Replies (4) Good night (2235) Bad night (1003)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.

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  (847): 2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take. http://tfl.nu/jq3u
  Replies (20) Good night (2845) Bad night (1559)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.

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  (765): Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me. http://tfl.nu/xef4
  Replies (8) Good night (2292) Bad night (757)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.

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  (780): He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned. http://tfl.nu/9m93
  Replies (11) Good night (1100) Bad night (445)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.

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  (260): Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way. http://tfl.nu/aiad
  Replies (3) Good night (467) Bad night (633)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.

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  (423): There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork. http://tfl.nu/8h9m
  Replies (3) Good night (994) Bad night (391)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  You can wear anything you want

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  So... Naked it is then

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  (262): You can wear anything you want (704): So... Naked it is then http://tfl.nu/h72c
  Replies (1) Good night (1008) Bad night (350)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.

  (224): View more from Illinois

  That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.

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  (262): I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity. (224): That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard. http://tfl.nu/buw1
  Replies (3) Good night (857) Bad night (881)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.

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  (512): You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship. http://tfl.nu/33lr
  Replies (2) Good night (313) Bad night (628)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.

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  (443): This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid. http://tfl.nu/18yq
  Replies (1) Good night (635) Bad night (213)

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