I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
