Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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