Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize