1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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