I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
