Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
