Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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