actually, I'm a sock model
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize