I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
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I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
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We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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