it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
