My room smells like vodka and shame
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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