Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
