So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
