you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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