I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
