i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
