He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
My friends, they love my intelligence
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize