just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
