I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
