I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
My ATM looks so different sober.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
