dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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