used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
