Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
