you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
