Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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