was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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