kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
