you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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