Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
