I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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