I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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