Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
