So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
