I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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