When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
That reminds me...we need to get swords
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
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