is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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