Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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